Dazed and Confused

With more years behind me than I like to remember, startled into cyber-sensitivity by assorted encounters with a brave new world, I stand at the edge of the precipice: leaning, looking, listening for the voice that has lured me to this place.

What do I know of websites, blogs, html, css, pagemaker?  Not a thing.  Or, at least, so little that my friendly five-year-old neighbor could out-navigate me in any cybercontest.  When I look at a hyperlink, I hyperventilate.  When I hear the word “tag”, I think of a children’s game.  If any computer guru in the world begins a sentence with, “All you have to do is…”, I’ve already done a mental turn and am running for my life.  They mean well, and so do I.  It’s just that “intuitive” is not a word I associate with computers or their programs.

But I have things to say – words to write, metaphors to build, conclusions to draw, paragraphs to stack and reorder and move around to suit myself, and perhaps others.  Whether I like it or not, the day of the Number 2 pencil, or even the old, clunky Underwood, is over.   If I am to share my words and my vision, technology must become my friend.

Of course, friendship takes time.  It requires energy, and perseverance.   Friendship isn’t an afternoon project, a weekend diversion, a passing inclination for those times when nothing else piques interest.  Friendship is a commitment as well as a delight; it requires attentiveness and care.

I have far less time than I wish, and my energy can ebb, but I know attentiveness and perseverance.  Perseverance is making coffee at 2 a.m.  Perseverance is changing a title in order to attract more readers, and then changing it back because it is right.  Perseverance is continuing to listen for the voice that lures us to the edge of the precipice even when the voice falls silent. Perseverance is singing in the night, though all others may sleep – believing that the song will be heard.

The question no longer is: do you want to write?  For good or for ill, read or unread, poorly scribed or passionately sung, I will write.  At the edge of the precipice, a bit dazed, a good bit confused, I have made my commitment.  Let the perseverance begin.

Comments  always are welcome.

5 thoughts on “Dazed and Confused

  1. Where?

    So where did I go?
    And how did I get here?
    I was somewhere else,
    But now I am here.

    I don’t seem to recall the path I took.
    Maybe it wasn’t a path.
    Just a way to go.
    Not blocked, not marked.

    But it went somewhere.
    And now I’m looking back,
    And see no tracks.
    Just places where I was while getting here.

    dml – November 7, 2002

  2. Daniel ~

    “…Just places where I was while getting here”

    What a wonderful line and what a wonderful poem – thank you so much. And isn’t that just the way it is, sometimes? It really wasn’t a path, but “just a way to go.”

    Obviously, I’m still working along, but I’ll be in touch. We need to talk about cross-linking, etc.

    So good to “see” you!


  3. I identify with you totally on this, Linda! I remember my first encounter with a Macintosh at work when they first introduced them. It took me ages to figure out how to scroll down the page! I was spurred on then by a desire to read the news from round the world, and it wasn’t long before I started to use computers for my photography. Necessity has pushed me onwards, then, and I would say that the best part of this is the interconnections we make through our blogs. This is something that I could never have imagined would happen back in those very early days.


    And we do make those connections. The best evidence for that is something I never might have noticed had you not commented here. Here on my first post, I have one comment. Today, nearly three years later, there are many more comments, along with real knowledge of some readers and terrific discussion. I never would have imagined it “in those very early days” – many of didn’t.

    I smiled at your comment about necessity pushing you on. That’s how I’ve learned all this – one step at a time, as needed. It’s one reason I’ve stayed with WordPress instead of starting a self-hosted blog. I just don’t have the time to learn all those other things I’d never to know to go self-hosted. Or, to be more precise – I’d rather use the time I have reading and writing than programming!


  4. It’s a good metaphor for life. That poem that Daniel wrote – wow! I always like a good, well-written poem. Does he still follow you almost 10 years later?

    1. Yes, we’re still in touch from time to time. We talked more consistently when we both were on the Weather Underground blog pages, but we both moved on from that, so it’s not been so frequent.

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