Perspiration and Inspiration

 

Becoming a varnish worker isn’t difficult.  If you have a vehicle to serve as a combined corporate headquarters, warehouse and service fleet, about $400 for capital and operating  expenditures like varnish, sandpaper, brushes and power tools and a wardrobe of stylish second-hand tees, I could get you started today.  After years in the business, I’ve  plenty of tips to share and I’d be happy to let you serve a few months’ apprenticeship. That’s more than enough time to understand the basic techniques of the craft and begin to develop the good, short-term weather forecasting skills that will be critical to your success.

Things will go even more smoothly if you already possess some important personal qualities: infinite patience, a tolerance for frustration  and a sense of humor to help keep things in perspective when your fresh coat of varnish is ruined by fog, pollen, insects, rain, wind, dust or The Yard Crew From Hell, that charming band of brothers who decide to rev up their gasoline-powered leaf blowers just as you’re putting away your brush. 

If you’re especially lucky, you’ll internalize what we call “The Rule of Good Enough” early in your career.  I never have seen a “perfect” coat of varnish. No matter how glossy, how reflective, how beautifully deep the shine, there always is something - a gnat, a bristle, a patch of dust, a tiny bit of wood the brush missed – to tempt the compulsive toward a re-do.  It never helps, of course. You may get rid of the gnat only to discover a determined spider has schlepped across your work.  Better to look at wood that’s 99% perfect and say, “That’s good enough.”

Why someone would want to varnish is another question entirely.  The work of stripping and sanding is boring and repetitive.  Weather is unpredictable and can wreak havoc with a schedule, not to mention cash flow.  I happen to like the isolation and solitude, but not everyone does.  And it is, after all, physical labor.  There aren’t many varnishers who head to the gym after work.  There’s enough climbing, stretching, leaning and lifting in the course of a day to keep anyone flexible, and if you park far enough from your current project, you can get a little walking in, too.  Simply put,  boat varnishing is a 19th century job in a 21st century world.  Boat owners on the docks may be twittering and texting within an inch of their lives, but the varnishers, riggers, carpenters and mechanics aren’t - their hands are too busy with the tools of their various trades to take time for electronic gadgets.

As for that question – “Why varnish?” – I always laugh and say, “For the perks, of course.”   I may not have medical coverage or a 401K, but there is that just-back-from-Barbados-tan, a crazy assortment of folks on the dock to provide entertainment and a shoes-optional dress code.  Instead of tracking office politics, I kibbitz with ducks, herons, egrets and coots.  Osprey and pelicans float above, while mullet, drum,  jellyfish and crabs drift and skitter through the water.  My solitude is sandwiched between the bloom of sunrise and sunset’s poignant glow, while I think my thoughts and devote my energy to making something beautiful.

In truth, the positives balance out the negatives nicely, at least until full summer arrives.  For most people, summer means a little laziness, a bit of travel, the pleasures of  indolence.  I experience summer rather differently.  Summer means scorching boat decks, so hot that bare feet are impossible.  Eyes burn from sunscreen, and the freezer fills up with gallons of water. The heat and humidity of the Texas Gulf Coast can be so intense that sweat drips off elbows and chins onto those fresh coat of varnish, frustrating because it means unplanned, unpaid extra work.

But by far the worst thing about summer is the way its heat drains away energy,    At the end of the day, it can be a struggle to do more than shower, plop into a chair and stare off into the middle distance.  A woman I know calls summer “the cereal season”, because cereal for supper takes the least effort to prepare.  At the height of summer, we all begin to experience “seasonal slovenliness” as dust collects, laundry baskets fill up and drooping plants beg for their own drink of water.   We all have good intentions, but the longer days and unrelenting heat can produce an unshakable lethargy.    

Physical tasks aren’t the only chores to be put off.  Creativity and imagination suffer from heat exhaustion, too.  As the temperatures rise, the ability to focus for long periods of time declines.  Thinking about my blogs, I have no shortage of ideas.  Thoughts continue to swirl and the impulse to shape words into form is there,  but actually sitting down to write is another matter.

I’ve been thinking about this a good bit.  Any act of creation requires time and energy – the very energy which summer drains away.  Certainly, I’m one of the lucky ones.  I have the freedom to rearrange my schedule, to begin work early and continue work until late, seeking respite from the heat of the afternoon.  Not everyone enjoys such luxury.  The world is filled with people who spend their days in manual labor throughout the year –  farm workers, construction crews, roofers, lawn care workers. Constrained by necessity to work for others, they lack even minimal control over their days, and they, too, come home exhausted.

 

Some say these communities of people  have no stories to tell, that they are dull and uninspired, lacking in creativity.  I once was told of an English teacher who had her Anglo students write an essay each week but didn’t require essays from Hispanic students.  Confronted on the issue, she seemed genuinely astonished, asking, “But what would they (the Hispanic students) write about?”

It’s an old attitude, neatly summed up in the assertion that certain people are better equipped for creativity - by education, by natural sensitivity, by intellect, training or talent, while the masses are mute by necessity.  Despite his apologists, D.H. Lawrence gives voice to this assumption in Phoenix II when he says,

Life is more vivid in the dandelion than in the green fern, or than in the palm tree,
Life is more vivid in the snake than in the butterfly.
Life is more vivid in the wren than in the alligator,
Life is more vivid in me, than in the Mexican who drives the wagon for me.

What is vivid here is the worst kind of prejudice, and a particularly sad kind of literary elitism.  In fact, the people who tend our lawns, build our roads, harvest our crops and roof our homes may have some of the best stories in the world waiting to be written, if only they weren’t so exhausted and by necessity focused on the basic requirements for life.  In the world of  “just folks”,  hints of wonderfully creative communication abound -  with the yarn spinners in cafes, the musicians in the bars and juke joints, the jokesters on the job site, or the story-telling mother on the porch with her children gathered around.

When I see a construction worker, a roofer, a farm laborer or a fellow rolling out barricades for a highway project, I wonder, “What story would he tell if he had the time, the freedom, the energy?  

When I see a mother walking her children home in the heat, a housekeeper washing windows in the full afternoon sun, a woman struggling toward a laundromat with an unwieldy bundle of clothes, I wonder,  “What verse might she write, if she had solitude, silence and rest?”

Day Laborers at Hopson Plantation ~ Clarksdale, Mississippi, 1940

Out on the docks, the summer heat continues to rise as the fish drift deeper and the birds grow silent, tucking themselves ever more deeply into the dappled shade of their trees.   Watching and listening to the silence, I wonder:  given a respite from their labors and the  freedom to rest in the shade, what songs might our hidden birds sing?

 

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Published in:  on May 18, 2009 at 3:07 am Comments (21)
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The Death of Freecell

 

I’ve never been much of a game player.  When I was younger, I did enjoy Scrabble and Monopoly.  I played Mancala in Africa and dominos in south Texas, and in the late 90’s I flirted briefly with the sailing version of Trivial Pursuit.  But I don’t make pilgrimage to Louisiana for the “gaming” found in casinos, and I don’t do video games.  There’s no Guitar Hero or Grand Theft Auto tucked into my bookshelf, and you won’t find Mahjong, chess or checkers.  The cribbage board is stored away in a box because my Dad and I used to play and it has sentimental value, but everything else – the decks of cards,  the assorted boards, the mismatched dice – simply have disappeared. 

The advent of cyber-gaming passed me by as well.  I have friends who spend hours on the computer playing games with people around the world, and they seem to enjoy it.  I’ve tried to become interested, but  it’s never happened.  I’d rather take a walk, go to a gallery or read a book.

The only exception has been Freecell.  When my first computer arrived in 1999, I discovered the folks at the factory had added a few games for my amusement.  I looked them over but didn’t play until one of my friends said, “You really ought to give Freecell a try”.  She’d become a fan when she purchased a computer with Windows95, the first operating system to include the game.  She seemed so enthusiastic I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, so I set out to learn.

I played one game, and then two.  Then, I played a few more.  It wasn’t long before I’d play two or three games every night before bed.  One day I realized I’d played a hundred games, and then a thousand.   By the time I traded in my old Win98 clunker for a spiffy new duocore, I’d logged 6,754 games.  That’s not much in the shadowy world of Freecell addiction, but for a dedicated non-gamer, it’s enough.

As much a puzzle as a game, Freecell has a lot to recommend it.  The game can be as mindless or challenging as you want to make it, and it fits easily into those few minutes before bed or with a cup of coffee in the morning. Not only that, it has one of the highest win rates of any solitaire, which contributes to the fun and the addictive quality of the game.  

There are claims on the internet that almost every Freecell deal can be won.  When Dave Ring started The Internet Freecell Project, he attempted to solve all the deals using human beings.  The project was finished in October 1995, and only one game defied every human player’s attempt to be successful: game  #11,982, which has been shown to be unsolvable by several software solvers.

When I stopped playing Freecell on the Windows98 computer, my winning percentage was 71%,.  Now, on my lovely new computer with the zippy cards, sound effects and neat new graphics, I have a winning percentage of 75%.  But that increased winning percentage can be misleading.   Since my new computer arrived on January 16, I’ve played precisely four games of Freecell.

I played those four games during my first week with my new ”infernal persnickity timesucker”.  Then, Freecell was set aside as I learned a new operating system, installed new software programs and peripherals and generally got accustomed to a radically new world.  Moving from Windows98 with dialup to Vista with broadband left me a bit breathless, amazed at the possibilities.  I watched YouTube for the first time, and found the time required to list an Ebay auction reduced from thirty minutes to ten.  While drinking one cup of coffee I could process a batch of photos, google my way into a topic and out again, answer my emails and tidy up my desktop, downloading a few files in the process.  There would have been great chunks of extra time for Freecell, except for this: I had decided to write.

I’d been doing a little light blogging on the WeatherUnderground website since October, 2007, and enjoyed it tremendously.  But I had a friend who kept whispering, “You need to do more.  Get on a real blog site.  Spread your wings.  Push the limits.  Expand your audience….’   After looking at assorted sites and  experimenting a bit,  I made a commitment.   I was going to write, and I was going to do it by maintaining two blogs.  At WeatherUnderground, I would continue with my more-or-less weekly posting, and on WordPress, I would try to update at least every three days.  It seemed a wonderful plan.  I had ideas galore, and energy to spare.

Now, two months and about twenty-five blogs down the road, I can’t help but think of my favorite quotation from Woody Allen: The longest journey begins with a single step.  The best journeys begin with a moment of temporary insanity.  In some ways, the writing has been the least of the craziness.  As I learn the vocabulary of “real” blogging (trackbacks? pingbacks? authority? tags? domain mapping?), struggle with html, keep a wary eye on the CSS project still waiting in the wings and keep adding to the list of drafts to be outlined and researched, I wouldn’t change a thing, and yet everything has changed.

Freecell was only the first casualty.   Television viewing was next.   I haven’t been to Ebay since January, and I’ve seen 2 a.m. so many times I think I’m back in college.  My mother rolls her eyes; my cat sits and gives me the evil eye.  No matter which one is around, when I head toward the computer, they sigh.   Neither is especially happy with my new enthusiasm. 

Nevertheless, for good or for ill, I keep writing, reading and learning.  Slowly, I’m developing a new routine.  The technical tasks are becoming easier, the site soon will look the way I see it in my mind, and the delight of sharing my vision and words with others is increasing exponentially.  Writing, I’m beginning to understand, can be something you do, or it can define who you are.  When I first saw one of my blogs republished on another site, with my name attached and the description, “writer and blogger” included,  I was amazed.  And yet, with every word, every paragraph, every entry, I’m filling up that description with a new and vibrant reality.  It may be a crazy journey, but it’s one of the best I’ve taken.

As for freecell, I suspect I’m not going to increase my winning percentage by much no matter how many games I play.  I believe I’ll let it rest, and just keep writing.  That way, I’ll be sure to stay ahead of the game.

 

 

 

 

COMMENTS are welcome.  To read previous comments or post one of your own, please click on the tiny “Comments” link below.  Eventually, I’ll learn CSS and revise the template, but this note will have to do for the time being.

© Text Copyright Linda Leinen, 2008 

Sisyphus: Learning to Love Your Rock

 

When I decided to leave high heels and dayplanners behind to travel a different path through life, I chose to varnish boats. When Roz Savage left her life as a management consultant and investment banker, she decided to row a boat across the Atlantic. The only woman in the 2005-2006 Atlantic Rowing Race to singlehand from the Canary Islands to Antigua, she competed with twenty other boats; only one other was single-handed. Boats in the rest of the fleet were crewed by two or four people, and all arrived in Antigua ahead of Ms. Savage, who crossed the finish line after 103 days at sea.

Even at the time, the fact that she arrived in last place seemed a bit beside the point. After breaking every one of her oars (and patching them with duct tape), losing her satellite phone and stereo, watching clouds put her solar-powered water desalination unit out of commisision and having to cut free her sea anchor while dragging through the water held only by her safety harness, being alive seemed the point.

But the troubles she endured didn’t quell her enthusiasm for her sport or her determination to meet the challenge she’d set herself – to row around the world. After completing the Atlantic race, an interviewer asked how it was possible to accomplish such a feat with so many odds against her. Although she rowed during her time at Oxford, she wasn’t a professional, and certainly didn’t fit the physical profile of an open-ocean rower.

Ms. Savage replied that drive and passion were the keys- simple desire, fueled by perseverance. “Stay dedicated and work hard,” she said. “and only worry about the things you can control. In life there is so much we want to do but we scare ourselves out of living the life we want, because of all the ‘what ifs’. I only concentrate on what I can control. That is how I rowed across the Atlantic.”

Having conquered the Atlantic, she set her sights on the Pacific, and began a single-handed row in 2007. That attempt had to be aborted due to rough weather and several capsizes. After a redesign of the boat, including the addition of 200 pounds of lead ballast in the hull and some fine tuning of her provisions, she again rowed out of San Francisco, early on the morning of May 25. This Pacific crossing will take place in three stages. Despite some issues with wind and currents, she still is on track with Stage 1.

The Pacific Challenge
Stage 1 (2008): San Francisco to Hawaii (2324 statute miles, course 247 degrees)
Stage 2 (2009): Hawaii to Tuvalu (2620 statute miles, course 224 degrees)
Stage 3 (2009): Tuvalu to Australia (2324 statute miles, course 252 degrees)

Since her departure last week, I’ve been following her progress through her blog. I find her delightfully direct, filled with common sense and without pretense. As befits an Oxford grad, she’s unapologetic about adding the occasional literary tidbit to her musings. On May 30, she confided,

Sisyphus might sound like an unpleasant disease, but in fact he was the guy in Greek mythology who was condemned to push a boulder up a mountain for all eternity. As soon as he stopped pushing the rock would roll backwards, so he just had to keep pushing away. I know how he felt.”

“I continue to row hard just to stand still. The wind has continued to strengthen, so despite rowing all day I have slipped back slightly towards the California coast. The seas have been rough, and once in a while a wave slaps into the side of the Brocade sending a torrent of cold salty water over me. The skies are leaden, with no sunshine to help dry me out. Everything on the boat is damp and dank.”

“The weather forecast is for the winds to get stronger and the waves to get bigger – and all coming out of the northwest. It seems that my Sisyphean task is going to be a tough one, and it’s hard to put that out of my mind for long.”

Sisyphus ~ Franz von Stuck

When I found “Sisyphean” in Roz Savage’s daily entry, I felt as though I’d found a sister. The title of this blog, The Task at Hand, is taken from one of my original poems about the work of the “Sisyphean poet”. For the poet, “even the right word takes effort”, and it is effort that Ms. Savage understands as well as anyone on this planet. The irony is that I first learned about Sisyphus in the context of drudgery, mindlessness and resentment. After all, he’d been condemned to his fate, and those who introduced him to me seemed to assume nothing positive was going to emerge from all that effort.

A woman who commented on Roz Savage’s blog had quite a different take. As she said in response to the Sisyphus reference, “If he wasn’t a guy with a boulder, a mountain and a task, there would be no story to remember him by. It’d be like, ‘You remember the guy. Well, he was a guy.’ So, you see, you are the gal in the rowboat on the ocean going to Hawaii.”

That woman has it exactly right: Sisyphus isn’t remembered for his status as a god, his history of making trouble, or his ability to get his own way by garden-variety deceit and trickery. He’s remembered for his boulder, his mountain and his task. And even though we speak of him being condemned to fruitless labor, having no power over his fate or circumstances, I sometimes wonder about the nature of his effort, and the limits of our understanding.

When I first encountered the image of Sisyphus shown above, I was absolutely startled by intimacy I saw between Sisyphus and his rock. He didn’t seem to be pushing it, he seemed to be resting against it, almost as though his struggle to move the rock higher and gravity’s determination to tumble it down had been perfectly balanced. This was a man who knew his rock, living in relationship with it and embracing it with intensity.  Albert Camus, in his exploration of The Myth of Sisyphus, was equally fascinated by the sight of Sisyphus walking back down the mountain to find his rock and begin his task anew.  Reading Camus, you can’t avoid the sense that Sisyphus not only is rolling and re-rolling his rock, he’s re-deciding his fate on a regular basis.

For von Stuck and Camus, there is a vibrant humanity that shines through Sisyphus, and I find myself thinking, “Perhaps Sisyphus had more choice than we realize.”  Perhaps that is why his story, his image and his myth continue to resonate as they do: not because of his condemnation but because of his choice.

The obvious question is, if Sisyphus had a choice, why would he continue to roll that rock?  The answer may be as simple as another question: why do any of us do anything?  Why would Roz Savage endure isolation, fear and exhaustion to row across oceans in a glorified tin can? Why do perfectly well-adjusted men and women withdraw completely from society and journey into the desert to live in silence, contemplation and prayer?   Why do researchers follow their hunches and their data for years, or artists refine their vision for decades?   Why do athletes train, or poets write?

Part of the answer is that effort, like virtue, is its own reward.  Contrary to what some believe, work is not a curse, exhaustion can be cured, and simple desire, fueled by perseverance, can move mountains, climb mountains and, if necessary, do some rock-pushing straight up those mountains.

Sisyphus has his boulder and his mountain.   Roz Savage has her rowboat and her ocean.  I have my words and my night.  Each of us has our task, and our obstacle.  The only question is whether we will embrace those tasks and continue on, or step aside and let gravity have its way.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 © Text copyright Linda Leinen 2008
COMMENTS are welcome.  To read previous comments or post one of your own, please click on the tiny “Comments” link below.  Eventually, I’ll learn CSS and revise the template, but this note will have to do for the time being.

     

Diagnosis: Opus Nauseous

 

 

After two months of struggle, the deed is done.  The Little Essay That Could finally started its engines, cut loose the cars carrying the freight of an idea that didn’t belong, and chugged its way up the hill into publication on another site.  Sitting Shivah for Our Dreams had been bogged down by my own obstinancy, my insistence to myself that ”sitting shivah” and “hiddur mitzvah” needed to remain woven together: two thematic strands in one essay.  Only after deciding to pull them apart, a process I detailed in my entry “Purity of Prose is to Write One Thing”, was I able to begin writing again, and finish the essay.  

As I thought about the process today,  I became curious and did a word count.  Sitting Shivah For Our Dreams contains 2,285 words.  By comparison, Harper Lee’s marvelous To Kill a Mockingbird  contains 100,388.  Even if the count for Ms. Lee’s book isn’t exact, the math isn’t complicated.   In humorous terms, my essay divides into Harper Lee’s novel roughly 44 times.   At the rate it took to complete the essay, that’s 88 months, or 7.3 years of writing if I were to tackle a novel of similar size.

Prior to publication of To Kill A Mockingbird in 1960, Harper Lee moved to New York, took menial jobs to support herself, and did in fact work on her manuscript for about eight years.   After putting it into the hands of an editor, she re-wrote for an additional couple of years. That’s ten years of writing and re-writing: enough struggle to frustrate anyone.

One of the most well-known stories about Ms. Lee and her book comes from the early days of the editing process.  One night in the winter of 1958,  as she sat in her New York apartment surrounded by drifts of paper which mostly were drafts of the same material, she’d suddenly had enough.  Flinging open a window, she tossed her manuscript out into the wind, and watched years of work tumble down into the snow-filled streets.  I ’ve searched, but I  can’t find any report of what Harper Lee  said as she flung her life’s work out that window.  I suspect it was neither well-crafted nor particularly literary.  A phrase like, “There, dammit!” is what comes to mind.

Whether Lee intended to destroy To Kill a Mockingbird  we’ll never know.  Fortunately, she called her editor at Lippincott immediately, and Tay Hohoff sent her outside to gather up the pages.  The cold air and exercise probably did her good, and the gathered pages, which  came together quite nicely in the end, have done all of us good through the years. 

Hearing the story, I was reminded of some wonderful passages in Flannery O’Connor’s letters, collected and edited by Sally Fitzgerald and published under the title The Habit of Being.   Writing to Ms. Fitzgerald about her novel Wise Blood, she says, “Enclosed is Opus Nauseous No. 1.  I had to read it over after it came from the typist’s and that was like spending the day eating a horse blanket.  It seems mighty sorry to me but better than it was before.”

Later, there were references to Opus Nauseous No. 2, her novel entitled The Violent Bear It Away.  In a letter to Cecil Dawkins dated 17 July 1959 she celebrates in her typically understated way:  Well, my novel is finished and on its way courtesy the US Postal Service to the publisher.  Catharine Carver’s final verdict was that it is the best thing I’ve done. The most I am willing to say is that it has taken more doing than anything else I’ve done.”

And, in a September, 1959 letter to Maryat Lee she adds, “Been working on that book for seven years with time off occasionally to write a story.  The relief of finishing it was extreme, but I haven’t spit up or anything…”

 It’s often said that the opposite of love isn’t hatred, but apathy.  If Harper Lee had allowed her manuscript to disappear in her apartment beneath drifts of junk mail, bills, old National Geographics and cheap paperbacks, that would have been one thing.  If Flannery O’Connor had said, “Well, I believe three years is long enough.  We’ll just call this one done and stick it in the mail”, that would have been another.  But both authors were bound to their vision of the truth and the integrity of their work by varying degrees of love, disdain, revulsion and amazement.   If they were given to dramatic gestures and sardonic humor from time to time  - well, so be it.  In the end,  their gritty,  obsessive,  and completely unsentimental view of their life’s work allowed them to persevere.

I know this.  At two a.m., when the coffee’s boiled down and the process of putting words to page is like pulling my cat from under the bed, I want nothing to do with insipid paragraphs about the dignity of the writer’s vocation.  Let me contemplate Flannery O’Connor eating a horseblanket, or Nelle Harper Lee crawling around in the snow on all fours, grabbing her manuscript pages. 

Now, that’s inspiration.

 

 

 

 © Text copyright Linda Leinen 2008

COMMENTS are welcome.  To read previous comments or post one of your own, please click on the tiny “Comments” link below.  Eventually, I’ll learn CSS and revise the template, but this note will have to do for the time being!

Sisyphus and Shakespeare – A Writer’s Perfect Pair

 

As readers began to ponder some of the life choices I’ve listed on my About Me pageand compared their own choices to mine, one very sharp lady refused to accept the premise.  Rather than choose between mountains and ocean, she asked, “Can’t I have them both?”  Since I’m also the person who chose both/and over either/or,  I became the one left with no choice.  She got her mountains and her ocean, and this morning, I’m opting for Shakespeare and Sisyphus as I continue to chart my course.

For a writer, Shakespeare is pure inspiration.  The beauty of his structures, the elegance of his chosen words  and his provocative insights into the condition of the human heart never have been surpassed.  His work has penetrated so deeply into our culture that lines and phrases pop up in conversation daily.  Even better, Shakespearean Rap and HipHop is a coming thing, and the purists had best turn away.   Bill Shakespeare would have loved this rendition of the moment in Act II of Midsummer Night’s Dream when Puck gets recognized and begins to brag a bit about his exploits.  I’m no lover of the new musical genres as a rule, but Shakespeare’s words are better spoken than silently read, and they translate beautifully into the HipHop age.

As for Sisyphus, he is all about perseverance.  The fact that he has been condemned to his fate may or may not be analogous to the writer’s lot in life; there are arguments to be made on both sides of that proposition.   But the image of persistent effort has power across a multitude of disciplines.   Persistence helps to provide necessary structures for the content of thought,  damming and channeling and controlling  the flow of inspiration in positive and creative ways.

Inspiration and perseverance belong together.  Without persistent effort, even the most incisive thoughts, exquisite images or shattering metaphors remain diffuse and unfocused.  Without effort, the right word remains the “almost right word”, an unhappy circumstance Mark Twain acknowledged when he said, “The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.”

But inspiration is the raw material upon which persistence works its magic.  Without inspiration, writing (or research, or painting or any of the arts) remain pedantic: interesting, perhaps salutary, but incapable of touching the soul or freeing the heart to sing.  I knew a woman, years ago, who was determined to be a poet.  She wrote hundreds of poems; she was the most diligent and persistent creature on earth.   Her poetry was structurally beautiful, and utterly dead.  As one of her own children said, “The best thing about Mom’s poetry is its power as a negative example”.   That is not a legacy one would choose.

There has been a tendency among writers to regard inspiration as mysterious and magical, arbitrary and capricious, willing to take up residence in one psyche but not another for no apparent reason.  I no longer believe that.  The world is available to all, and the Muses are not so stingy.  A clear eye, an open heart, an appreciation for new trends as well as old verities, and an acceptance of the differences among people and their experiences all help prepare the ground for inspiration to take root and grow.

To paraphrase a well-known line from the movie Field of Dreams, if you prepare to be inspired, inspiration will come.  When that happens, the only question that remains is how much persistence you are willing to devote to shaping the gift of the Muse.

 

 

Shakespeare’s Sonnet XXVIII – A Way of Seeing Perseverance

 Weary with toil, I haste me to my bed,
The dear repose for limbs with travel tired;
But then begins a journey in my head
To work my mind, when body’s work’s expired:
For then my thoughts–from far where I abide–
Intend a zealous pilgrimage to thee,
And keep my drooping eyelids open wide,
Looking on darkness which the blind do see:
Save that my soul’s imaginary sight
Presents thy shadow to my sightless view,
Which, like a jewel hung in ghastly night,
Makes black night beauteous, and her old face new.
Lo! thus, by day my limbs, by night my mind,
For thee, and for myself, no quiet find.

 

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Published in:  on April 27, 2008 at 9:01 am Leave a Comment
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Dazed and Confused

 

 With more years behind me than I like to remember, startled into cyber-sensitivity by assorted encounters with a brave new world, I stand at the edge of the precipice:  leaning, looking, listening for the voice that has lured me to this place. 

What do I know of websites, blogs, html, css, pagemaker?  Not a thing.  Or, at least, so little that my friendly five-year-old neighbor could out-navigate me in any cybercontest.  When I look at a hyperlink, I hyperventilate.  When I hear the word “tag”, I think of a children’s game.  If any computer guru in the world begins a sentence, “All you have to do is…”, I’ve already done a mental turn and am running for my life.  They mean well, and so do I.   It’s just that “intuitive” is not a word I associate with computers or their programs.

But I have things to say – words to write, metaphors to build, conclusions to draw, paragraphs to stack and reorder and move around to suit myself, and perhaps others.  Whether I like it or not, the day of the Number 2 pencil, or even the old, clunky Underwood, is over.   If I am to share my words and my vision, technology must become my friend.

Friendship, of course, takes time.  It requires energy, and perseverance.   Friendship isn’t an afternoon project, a weekend diversion, a passing inclination for those times when nothing else piques interest.  Friendship is a commitment as well as a delight; it requires attentiveness and care.   

I have far less time than I wish, and my energy can ebb, but I know attentiveness and perseverance.  Perseverance is making coffee at 2 a.m.  Perseverance is changing a title in order to attract more readers, and then changing it back  to its original form because it is right.  Perseverance is continuing to listen for the voice that lures us to the edge of the precipice even when the voice falls silent.   Perseverance is singing in the night, though all others may sleep - believing that the song will be heard.

The question no longer is: do you want to write?  For good or for ill, read or unread, poorly scribed or passionately sung, I will write.  At the edge of the precipice, a bit dazed, a good bit confused, I have made my commitment.  Let the perseverance begin.  

 

                                           

 Speaking of technology, we have this, from a letter dated 3 April 1959, written by author Flannery O’Connor to Cecil Dawkins:

“This is a nervous letter.  I am congratulating you on the electric typewriter.  It is very nice but I am not used to it yet.  I keep thinking about all the electricity that is being wasted while I think what I am going to say next…”

                                             

 

 

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Published in:  on April 19, 2008 at 12:45 pm Comments (3)
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