As with so much in our national life, change has come to Memorial Day. Flags continue to fly, of course. Patriotic garlands still hang from porch railings and bunting flutters in the small-town breeze while veterans’ groups gather at cemeteries and march in parades. And yet, in ways both subtle and obnoxious, Memorial Day has become primarily a beginning-of-summer ritual, a time to focus on beaches and barbeque, mattress sales, movie-going and the first road trip of the season.
The meaning and history of Memorial Day is both more profound and more complex than most Americans realize. For several years after the end of the Civil War, commemorations spread across the South as mothers, wives and children of the Confederate dead decorated the graves of their fallen soldiers with flowers.
At that time the outward signs of that flaming and bitter strife were still fresh and new. The bosom of nature, ploughed by the iron of war, had not yet healed. Everywhere were smoke-blackened and shattered shells, each, one time the patriarchal mansion of some great slave-holding planter. Woods and glades were thinned out by the storm of shot and shell that had torn through them with iron hail. In one place or another long rows – rank upon rank – of shallow mounds stretched up hill, along the level, through the woodlands, battalions of graves hardly yet covered with the thin young grass.
Upon a dozen battle-fields were great cemeteries, each consecrated with its baptism of blood, and there North and South lay in stillness, soldiers stretched side by side, in a fraternity never to be broken, because the Angel Israfel himself had set his seal of silence upon it all.
It was to these battle cemeteries, greater or lesser, that the women of the neighboring country brought their offering of flowers. There is something very full of pathos in the thought of those poor Southern women who had suffered so much and who had endured to such a bitter end – of those patient women of grief bringing their harmless offerings of flowers to these stern and furrowed fields of death, there to lay the fading things upon the bosom of each mound.
The North, it is said, was remembered at those times as well as the South. One cannot but hope this may be true, for it is beautiful to think of one woman of sorrows in the South reaching out an unseen hand to some other and unknown woman of sorrows in the faraway North.
On May 5, 1868, General John A. Logan, Commander-in-Chief of the Grand Army of the Republic, issued orders that on May 30th of that year all posts should decorate the graves of the Civil War dead with flowers – both North and South – thus formalizing what had become customary.
After World War I, the focus of the day was expanded to honor all those who had died in all American wars, and Memorial Day began to replace Decoration Day as a term of reference. In 1971, Memorial Day was declared a national holiday by an act of Congress and placed on the last Monday in May.
Though Midwestern by birth rather than Southern, I learned to call the occasion Decoration Day and my family celebrated it much as Southerners would. On the weekend preceding the holiday, we traveled to family cemeteries to clear away grass from the stones, trim the bushes and plant fresh flowers. We often saw the town’s Boy Scouts working with the VFW to place flags on veterans’ graves, guaranteeing that all who had served would be remembered.
In our classrooms, lessons included the history of battles or Presidential speeches. We made garlands of red, white and blue pennants containing patriotic images – the Tree of Liberty, the Liberty Bell or Lady Liberty’s torch – and words we were only beginning to appreciate. Freedom. Peace. Courage.
Always, there was show and tell. With World War II only a decade or so removed, tokens of that time were available to almost everyone. There were rationing coupons for gas and sugar, ribbons and medals awarded for bravery, photographs and correspondence from the front. Once, I took a letter from my Uncle Jack, who fought in the Pacific and never came home. Today, his letters have gone missing, but I have my father’s words to his brother.
We got your letter today and were sure glad to hear from you and that you are OK. It must be something over there. We kind of figured you must be up in the front, as we had not heard of you for some time…
Saw in the paper that the kid I used to ask you about was wounded over in Leyte. From that I figured you must be in there, too, as he is in the same division as you. Things must be bad there in more ways than one. From the papers it sounds like you are doing OK, though. Sure hope so…
Had you heard that Don was wounded? He was hit by a piece of flak. I guess his flying days are over from what he says. Sure hope you get through this campaign without injury. It sure must be nerve-wracking to fight all day and stand guard all night…
Take care of yourself and be careful. Hope this thing is over and you get home pretty soon. Write when you can…
Once school was dismissed on Friday, the routine never varied. Saturday morning was set aside for the parade. In the afternoon, we cooked for Sunday’s trip to visit my grandparents and on Sunday morning we went to church, where we listened as a Deacon read the list of congregational members who had been lost to war. We sang hymns that acknowledged the realities of worldly conflict, and listened to sermons touched with patriotism but also meant to comfort those still grieving their loss.
Memorial Day itself meant a return trip to the cemetery, where there would be a flag ceremony and a speech or two, traditions as firmly established and long-standing as placing flowers on the graves.
On May 30, 1896, Father John J. Woods, pastor of Holy Cross Church in Brooklyn, delivered some typical remarks which were reported in The Brooklyn Eagle. The day began with members of the Veterans and Sons of Veterans’ Mutual Benefit Union marching with a fife and drum corps past decorated houses and cheering crowds to Holy Cross Cemetery, where they heard these words included in Fr. Wood’s speech.
“Where in the history of the world can be found any preamble or constitution as that of America? Its enunciation carried hope and consolation to the downtrodden and afflicted of every country, its promulgation and realization by a handful of valiant patriots sent consternation to cruel tyrants and earthly potentates, and proved that more than a human hand guided the destinies of the young republic.
The corner stone of this republic was laid in the noblest blood that ever flowed in battle, for it was shed for principle and God-given rights that no tyrant or power can stifle, much less destroy.
Our forefathers grabbed the sword and musket not to extend their territory or possessions, not to further ambitious objects, but to protect their heavenly gift of liberty. ‘Who will dare,’ cried they to the world, ‘deprive us of our right to seek happiness? Who will dare fetter us by unlawful and excessive taxation? Who will deny us the right to worship our Creator according to the dictates of our consciences? None, unless at the loss of our fortunes, our lives and sacred honor.”
In the days of my childhood and youth, the final event of our Decoration Day celebrations always was a concert by our City Band. Battle-scarred or whole, old or young, bereaved by conflict or blessedly untouched, we gathered to hear the familiar songs – to sing along with Cohen’s “You’re a Grand Old Flag”, to clap and toe-tap our way through Sousa marches and to smile with tolerance at the amaturish but enthusiastic children singing “God Bless America”.
Inevitably, there were tears as the program concluded with The Battle Hymn of Republic. Peter Wilhousky’s arrangment still can bring me to tears. It reminds me of a time, not so long ago and perhaps still recoverable, when people of every political stripe, of wildly varying economic status, of every faith or of no faith at all were willing to set aside differences in order to stand together in awe before the majesty and mystery of nationhood – a nation “conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.”
As we come to our own Memorial Day celebrations, as we honor those whose graves we decorate and cherish the memory of their service on our behalf, perhaps we would do well to remember that lives, too, can be decorated, draped with the best garlands of citizenship - selflessness, integrity, honesty and valor.
If we choose such active remembrance, we may yet ensure that our dead have not died in vain, that our nation shall have a new birth of freedom, and that “government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”